Oh baby oh baby. When people ask you if you’re ready for your new born to arrive the real answer is NO. While you can’t wait to see what he will look like and you are so ready to not be pregnant, no one is really ready and up for all that a newborn entails. And it is true that you forget all the work, back breaking pain and amount of time it takes to get this tiny little thing through his daily life. But you smile and say “yes” or “as ready as we’ll ever be” leave and hope for the best.
I will pretense this post that I am writing coming from a third c-section. When I say that I’ve had 3 sections I wish people knew how much I did and do want to push a baby out the natural way, but I did try with baby #1 a little bit with baby #2 and by this time yes we opted for a scheduled c-section. A nurse in the hospital said that her husband was wishing for a c-section because he was so scared of a vaginal birth. There are so many things wrong with that sentence that I can’t even begin to explain. Knowing just that about the husband of hers I can only say that he is a very evil little man.
A wholly able bodied person on their best day would be completely worn down taking care of a newborn. Now take that person, cut her in half, take out an 8 lb turkey from her belly, ask her to breastfeed that turkey round the clock on top of all the other newborn care … and then you wouldn’t be surprised that this person is writing a blog post and three paragraphs in hasn’t even mentioned the name of her new blessed child.
Here are some things that I forgot that I wanted to get down for myself to remember … maybe when a 4th child itch comes rolling around. The lower back pain from the spinal block, the feeling that you are a Westworld host that you can’t shake, the idea of laughing, couching and gaging, the feeling that you will never comfortably lay down or sleep ever again, the tears that come from not being able to pee and poop, the painfulness of a rock hard breast.
The section above was written in the middle of the night on probably the 2nd or 3rd day home. It was a dark rough time for this momma. Now that we are at the 2 week mark we have had a chance to breath and are lucky that we have had so much help from family and friends. This time around we have needed all the help we can get with not only keeping us fed but keeping a family of F.I.V.E. alive and 2 little girls that need constant reassurance that they are still as important to us as ever.
WALTON HENRY NAY
This name we have had in our head for a while since waiting for the gender on our first (Viv). Originally we were going to use Walton as a middle name but I was really wanting Walton to be a prominent part of our life so a bargain was struck right before our anatomy ultra sound for Vivi and Walton as a first name was born. He is just the sweetest little yellow baby. I didn’t know if he would look like a boy since I was so used to staring into the eyes of little girl babies but he is for sure our little guy and feels different than holding the girls. Maybe the mother-son bond thing has already begun. He is a good sleeper as most newborns should be for the sanity of their parents. And he is a good eater, but we did have to do two blood foot pricks to keep an eye on his bilirubin levels. Happy to report that its one the downward trend and he seems to be looking a bit less yellow everyday. Gosh for sleeping so much and not really knowing what his little personality will be like we sure are falling in love just watching him sleep, kissing his little baby lips, rubbing our cheeks on his soft baby head and taking deep smells in the nape of his wrinkly neck.
MILK, MILK, MILK
THIS aspect of motherhood is so tiring. While Walton seemed to be a good eater, he was not gaining the weight we wanted at a week out and that combined with the bilirubin levels, we had to supplement with formula already. We have used formula with both the girls and I am completely fine with it but when you’re committed to breast feeding and working around the clock to keep it up, it is a little devastating to have to supplement. We had already been having latch problems which lead to the also upsetting purchase of my first nipple shield. We have only done about 24 hours of formula after nursing, but I had to get into the habit of pumping after each nursing session. And now I am producing a ton of milk and seem to need to nurse or pump every 2 hours on the dot. Or else I’m getting out a hot compress so as not to engorge myself. I could talk about nursing all day long … talking about my milk dud is what this blog was built on but I’ll stop and share a funny fact that only one of my boobs makes about 95% of my supply.
Being outnumbered by kids, we need all the help we can get. I often reflect and say how lucky we are to have such great family and friends but in times like these where they are actually feeding our family, watching and entertaining the girls when we can’t give them that attention they need and just being there to nod their head when I complain about nursing woes … (which is all the time if you haven’t gotten that yet) is truly the time where I am so happy that we have made these relationships a priority in our lives.
My mom, GMA watched the girls while we were in the hospital and make their time together into a short introduction to preschool since the girls were missing their first week of school in Highland. Knowing that the girls were not just looked after but that they were being enriched and educated is amazing! Also both of Chester’s moms have come up and stayed with us. All you need when your MIL’s stay is baking supplies and the rest just works itself out (that is if you have great ones like I do). Robin and Lori have been so helpful in the kitchen and keeping up with the girls while I have been literally attached to Walton about 80% of the day.
We were so happy to have some company in the hospital. Some parents don’t like to be visited. The hospital can be a venerable time for families. I mean after a c-section you’re most likely wearing mesh underwear and a hospital gown. But it was nice to have a break up in the day for us with some hospital visitors.
After the hospital we came home and the girls started school right away and Chester went right back to work. After I got over the pain hump and was able to lay down flat for a few hours of restful sleep I was in much better spirits. Though the days seem sooooooo long now, double since I live a complete full day at night doing feedings and pumping. I think that we are getting into a good little groove of the girls going to school and soon we’ll be back to the gym a few days a week just to walk and get the girls out of the house on the days they don’t have school. Speaking of school …. I am planning on getting back into things with my MAT program in October though I have no idea when I will have time to sit down for more than a few minutes yet.
Our friends in Highland have really be awesome. I can’t begin to explain how different it is to have some people who are around that we can count on. From taking the girls at literally 5 minutes notice for me to take Walton to a doctor appointment to taking them to the pool when I cannot just to get them out of the house has been amazing. We have had meals brought to us and rides home from school so I don’t have to leave twice in the morning. Seeing these ladies juggle their kids and schedules and meals and also giving us their precious time has made me look more and more at houses to buy in Highland because I don’t want to leave this feeling of community that we have made here.